Loved this, Andrei. It made me think about the ways I helped make my husband more demonstrative with affection and also more communicative. He in turn helped me to stop constantly reading into his silence or his supposed intentions around things.
I often say that I think communication should be taught starting in elementary school. It should be considered more vital than math and history. Think of the conflicts that could be avoided or worked out less violently. Itās so essential to learning how to respect those with whom we are in relationships - friends, family, coworkers, and intimate partners alike.
I liked how you portrayed this story about becoming; it's a happy story, in the sens that makes you smile while reading, and I liked how you opened up in writing about it, like a couple's journal, and how every beginning is about getting to know each other, and how conflicts are so important; we cannot grow without introspection and conflict. Great writing style! Thank you.
The years race by, you'll see. No mind reading required. And re: coffee, only drink the good kind! Have you started grinding fresh beans by hand yet? A small Hario will do the trick.
My wife and I've hit that point pretty hard core this year (we've been together for 6.5 years). We'll be going around doing something, I'll crack a joke or she'll make an observation, we'll immediately be like "I was thinking exactly the same thing." Which wouldn't feel weird but it'd be the sort of stretched associations you get like the "I saw a billboard advertising glasses and remembered The Waste Land which got me thinking about how classics are taught in English class which reminded me of my teacher's curly hair which is why I just remembered that funny curly haired dog we saw ten days ago anyway remember that dog?" style associations. Stuff that should not connect outside of oneself.
Reading about your happy married life and the evolution you've experimented since you are together with your wife, made me smile. In this days is hard to read happy things or even happy people, so thank you once more to share with us your day by day life. š Evolution is part of life, and you are lucky to be able to share the process with your wife.
Talking about coffee, I like it cappuchino too š
Brilliant! I think it's amazing how much you can change as an adult, the whole you can't teach an old dog new tricks logic is nonsense (not that I'm calling you old).
What a thoughtful reflection on the love you two share. Since meeting my husband, I also have learned an abundance of facts. He is like a walking encyclopediaāitās amazing! āŗļø Itās quite something to realize how much there is to learn about ourselves, the world, and another.
My husband turned me into a coffee addict, too. Now I wouldn't have it any other way š¤£
But seriously, this was a really lovely reflection. Nick and I met young and have been together for 10 years (!), so this got me thinking about how our lives have melded together and what I would have been like if left to my own devices. It's a fun thought experiment (and the conclusion is I'd probably just eat a LOT of junky snacks instead of home-cooked meals, like a normal person).
I loved reading this! I briefly went back to drinking coffee for about 8 weeks back in 2022 on Friday mornings-I had to get up stupid early to be at a remote place for a field school that I had signed up for that fall semester. There was no way that I was driving that early without caffeine, so Iād stop at a gas station and fill their smallest available coffee cup 1/2 way and drink it on the way to the field school. Before that, I hadnāt really had a true cup of coffee (black with a small amount of half and half) since my highschool/early college days, lol (2003-2008). Lately Iāve been thinking about getting back on coffee, but my brain hasnāt convinced the rest of me yet, haha
When I saw the fractal comment, my mind went back to an artist who uses fractals and mathmatics in her artwork. The museum I use to work at did an exhibit that featured her work. I canāt remember her name, but Iāll find some pics I took of her work and email them to you. It was one of my favorite exhibits while working there!
Love to see the self reflection, especially the 'I talk about my feelings' part gives me renewed hope there are capable men out there (I spent a long time with a very poor communicator and have been disheartened ever since..). Happy for you and your wife!
Love this story Andrei, I smiled while reading it. Iām happy that you found a great mate. It makes all the difference.
Loved this, Andrei. It made me think about the ways I helped make my husband more demonstrative with affection and also more communicative. He in turn helped me to stop constantly reading into his silence or his supposed intentions around things.
I often say that I think communication should be taught starting in elementary school. It should be considered more vital than math and history. Think of the conflicts that could be avoided or worked out less violently. Itās so essential to learning how to respect those with whom we are in relationships - friends, family, coworkers, and intimate partners alike.
Love thisā¦ found myself thinking oh yes, thatās us, and that and thatā¦..
yes I do know what fractal is - and itās just fascinating!
I liked how you portrayed this story about becoming; it's a happy story, in the sens that makes you smile while reading, and I liked how you opened up in writing about it, like a couple's journal, and how every beginning is about getting to know each other, and how conflicts are so important; we cannot grow without introspection and conflict. Great writing style! Thank you.
The years race by, you'll see. No mind reading required. And re: coffee, only drink the good kind! Have you started grinding fresh beans by hand yet? A small Hario will do the trick.
So heartwarming- loved this read!
"I can read minds (well, her mind)."
My wife and I've hit that point pretty hard core this year (we've been together for 6.5 years). We'll be going around doing something, I'll crack a joke or she'll make an observation, we'll immediately be like "I was thinking exactly the same thing." Which wouldn't feel weird but it'd be the sort of stretched associations you get like the "I saw a billboard advertising glasses and remembered The Waste Land which got me thinking about how classics are taught in English class which reminded me of my teacher's curly hair which is why I just remembered that funny curly haired dog we saw ten days ago anyway remember that dog?" style associations. Stuff that should not connect outside of oneself.
Reading about your happy married life and the evolution you've experimented since you are together with your wife, made me smile. In this days is hard to read happy things or even happy people, so thank you once more to share with us your day by day life. š Evolution is part of life, and you are lucky to be able to share the process with your wife.
Talking about coffee, I like it cappuchino too š
Brilliant! I think it's amazing how much you can change as an adult, the whole you can't teach an old dog new tricks logic is nonsense (not that I'm calling you old).
However I still can't drink coffee - it is vile.
What a thoughtful reflection on the love you two share. Since meeting my husband, I also have learned an abundance of facts. He is like a walking encyclopediaāitās amazing! āŗļø Itās quite something to realize how much there is to learn about ourselves, the world, and another.
I still don't drink coffee but someone once said to me "you really look like the sort of guy who likes wanky coffee" - not a compliment I don't think!
Cats, ironing and talking about your feelings...true love
Actually have undergone a very similar coffee experience to this. And I really like flat whites nowāless foamy. Interesting reflections, Andrei.
My husband turned me into a coffee addict, too. Now I wouldn't have it any other way š¤£
But seriously, this was a really lovely reflection. Nick and I met young and have been together for 10 years (!), so this got me thinking about how our lives have melded together and what I would have been like if left to my own devices. It's a fun thought experiment (and the conclusion is I'd probably just eat a LOT of junky snacks instead of home-cooked meals, like a normal person).
I loved reading this! I briefly went back to drinking coffee for about 8 weeks back in 2022 on Friday mornings-I had to get up stupid early to be at a remote place for a field school that I had signed up for that fall semester. There was no way that I was driving that early without caffeine, so Iād stop at a gas station and fill their smallest available coffee cup 1/2 way and drink it on the way to the field school. Before that, I hadnāt really had a true cup of coffee (black with a small amount of half and half) since my highschool/early college days, lol (2003-2008). Lately Iāve been thinking about getting back on coffee, but my brain hasnāt convinced the rest of me yet, haha
When I saw the fractal comment, my mind went back to an artist who uses fractals and mathmatics in her artwork. The museum I use to work at did an exhibit that featured her work. I canāt remember her name, but Iāll find some pics I took of her work and email them to you. It was one of my favorite exhibits while working there!
Love to see the self reflection, especially the 'I talk about my feelings' part gives me renewed hope there are capable men out there (I spent a long time with a very poor communicator and have been disheartened ever since..). Happy for you and your wife!